Posts from — December 2005

Gents,

Let me tell you of a funny story,

Driving to college on Tuesday, some scumbag throws a bottle of Coke
filled with Sand, narrowly missing my car,

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Ah wise man say

“It is not the car that drives the man, it is the man who drives the car”,
Cliff 1 Chaper1

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Must remember this when we’re out in tamanagoes!

When you’re hitting the bars on the hunt for a girl, it helps to have a
skilled buddy at your side to make sure you end up making out instead of
striking out. A good wingman’s generosity knows no bounds, and he will do
whatever is necessary to make sure his point man (you) avoids enemy
interference and hits the target.
It’s important that your wingman be your equal in many ways. He shouldn’t be
much better looking, fashionable or charming than you — otherwise, you’ll
end up becoming his wingman. Likewise, you can’t be far better looking,
fashionable or charming either. The goal is to field a team of two equals,
not a superstar and a bench warmer.

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To my dear wife:
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you at 54
years can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and value you as
a good wife. Therefore, after reading this fax, I hope you will not
wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my
18 year old secretary in the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be
perturbed. I shall be back home before midnight.”

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Trip to Galway -> Ideas

And discussing the trip to Galway; We could do a video and put it on
DVD; Do it as PoliceStop programme, mixed with Top Gear.

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Clifden

That trip was so col !!!

I’ve a full feature film and a full memory card of pix,

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Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me.
She didn’t even say “Good Morning” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you, the children will remember.”
The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday.” And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”
I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.” We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I said, “No, I guess not.”
She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”
After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go change.” “Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
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And there I sat… on the couch… naked.