NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.

Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath.

[Read more →]

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: ‘I’ve been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?’.
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number from, sir?’.
Customer: ‘It was on the door to the Travel Centre’
Operator: ‘Sir, they are our opening hours’.
—————————————————————————————————————–
Samsung Electronics
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about’.
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think you mean the telephone point on the wall’.
———————————————————————-
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?’
Operator: ‘ Doesn’t the product name give you a clue?’
———————————————————————-
Directory Enquiries
Caller: ‘I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please’.
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?’
Caller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off’.
———————————————————————-
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller: ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ‘.
———————————————————————-
Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop’.
Customer: ‘OK’.
Tech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’.
Customer: ‘No’.
Tech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Customer: ‘No’.
Tech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?’.
Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click”.
———————————————————————-
Tech Support: ‘OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer: ‘Wow. How can you see my screen from there?’
———————————————————————-
Caller: ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?’.
———————————————————————- ——————————————-
There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause’.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

[Read more →]