A man gets caught stealing Philadelphia cheese from Tesco. The security guards knock the shite out of him. Still somehow manages to smuggle a wedge of philadelphia out in his underpants. Walks home singing this.

I was bruised and battered and I couldnt tell
When I felt

I was unrecognizable to myself

I saw my cheese in a window I didn't know

My own face

Oh brother are you gonna leave me

Wastin´away

With just one wedge of philadelphia



I walked the avenue till my cheese felt like a stone

I heard the voices of cheese vanished and gone

At night I could hear the cheese in my veins

Gouda and parmisan as the rain

With just one wedge of philadelphia



Aint no Edam gonna greet me

Its just you and I my Cheese

My clothes don't fit me no more

I walked a thousand miles

Just to eat this cheese



The night has fallen, Im eating cheese

I can feel my cheese fading away

So receive me cheese with your faithless kiss

Or will we leave each other alone like this

With just one wedge of Philadelphia

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