LITTLE DARREN ON…PHILOSOPHY:

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?”
She calls on little Darren. He replies, “None, they will all fly away with
the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little Darren says, “I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, “Well, I suppose the one that’s
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Darren replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the
wedding ring on’, but I like your thinking.”

********************************************
LITTLE DARREN ON… MATHS:

Little Darren returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
“Why?” asks the father.”
“The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2×3?’ I said 6,” replied Darren. “But
that’s right!” says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me, ‘How much is 3×2?’”
“What’s the f*cking difference? ” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!”

*********************************************

LITTLE DARREN ON…ENGLISH:

Little Darren goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?” Darren says ” Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, little Darren, that’s a mouthful.”
Little Darren says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a bl*wjob.”

*********************************************

LITTLE DARREN ON…GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence
twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”
The teacher responded, “Excellent, Michael!” Then, she reluctantly called on
little Darren.
“Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said “Beautiful, just f***ing beautiful!”