Here's the one they tried to ban;

In 1972, a craic commando was sent to the secure room by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire… The A-TEAM.

Q. Who would you like to throw a shoe at?
A. .  : Well there's a list but can tell ya…

Q. Who is your all time hero?
A.  Chuck Norris – His tears can cure cancer – Chuch Norris does'nt cry… There's also myself, sometimes I can be damn good; Saving lives, Stopping assaults – by throwing people into walls, (In a Nightclub) Some woman says to me, that I'm Bad, so I says, for you honey – I can be BAD TO THE BONE…

Q. What is your favourite movie?
A.  That's a tough one – RONIN, best car chase ever…

Q. What would be your ideal job, besides working for the bank?
A.  Photographer. I'd say, that'd be cool, shooting celebrities.  Lock and load…

Q. 3 people you would like to have over for dinner?
A.  Jessica Alba, Kristen Bell and Sarah Michelle Geller  – Well I am a big fan of the ladies… Get in the Van – NOW…

Q.Have you ever had an imaginary friend ?
A.  Nope, just me myself and I…

Q. Tell us about your website, Bigsaltydog, what purpose does it serve to society?
A  It's a blog, where I do a little report of the weekends activities, including pictures, videos… What purpose does it serve?, hmmm, Perhaps it corrupts people?, It rewards me in different ways including monies, fond memories… 

Q. Favourite Music \ Band?
A.  Iron Maiden – Savage, Here's a bit of useful information; The UK Number Ones : 1990-1994 - 5 Jan 1991, Iron Maiden, Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter

Q. On scale from 1-5, how afraid of dark are you?
A.  I think the dark is afraid of me, Hahaha, nah, I have no fear of the Dark – Also an Iron Maiden Song – Fear of the Dark…

Q. Best Holiday destination ever?
A.  Spain, Malaga – It's class man, everything's still cheap, beer, beach is sweet…

Mums in group therapy    

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with  four young Mothers and their small children.

You all have obsessions,' he observed.



To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.

You've even named your daughter Candy.'



He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.

Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

 



He turned to the third Mom, Kathy: 'Your obsession is alcohol.

This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'



At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,

'Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Lets pick Willy up from school and go home'

                                         Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.



The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.



When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbour.



Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'





After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob , after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.





The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.



When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'



'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.



'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'





Moral of the story:



If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.





Lesson 2:





A priest offered a Nun a lift.



She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.



The priest nearly had an accident.



After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.



The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'



The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'



The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'



Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.



On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'



Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.







Lesson 3:



A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.



They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.



'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'



Puff! He's gone.



'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'





Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.



Lesson 4





An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.



A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'



So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.









Lesson 5



A turkey was chatting with a bull.



'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'



The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.



The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..



Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.



He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.





Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..







Lesson 6



A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.



While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.



As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.



The dung was actually thawing him out!



He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.



Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.





Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.



(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.



(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep

your mouth shut!